These lies ranges from white lies, half-truths told to keep the
peace, or sometimes just a lie of the highest proportion. Like I
said, guys lie too. And maybe some of my female readers will
decide to be awesome and tell us the lies men tell from their
own perspective.
Now like I said, women tell lies sometimes to get something
from a man, get into a relationship with a man, lock down an
existing relationship with a man, or trying to get out of a
relationship with a man most times because of another man.
Let’s hear some of these lies.
(1) I’ve slept with just two guys in my life:
Ordinarily, men should not bother to ask their women how
many guys they have been with before them, I have written
about body count before and it was even a big issue on
twitter few days back. When a woman is asked for her body
count, she will almost definitely lie about it and reduce the
number. But the worst liars are the ones that will tell you “I
have slept with just 2 guys, the one who deflowered me, and
one guy I was dating in school, and it happened only once”
When a girl tells you this, don’t believe her, don’t argue with
her. Even if she has slept with 300 men, she can tell you her
body count is just 3, and if 130, she might just tell you 13.
It’s a matter of removing one or two zeros. So, whatever your
woman tells you her body count is, don’t argue; just keep
quiet. Jesus didn’t die for that, did he?
(2) The sex was great, you are the greatest:
Listen bros, I am not saying you are not good in bed, But
almost every woman will tell you that you are the next best
thing in bed; that the likes Crixus and Spartacus are learners
compared to you. But I need you to know that it’s hard for
most women to be frank about sex, especially when the news
isn’t good and they want to lock down the relationship with
you. You are advised not to listen to her, but rely on her body
language instead.
(3) I have never cheated on you and I never will:
This is very easy to say for women, especially when you are
just done taking her to cloud 9; she will swear will everything
that her honey pot has never been tasted by anyone else
apart from you and it is meant for only you till thy kingdom
come, she will even swear to that effect. My advice? Don’t
bother your head, don’t start finding out, just nod like a
zombie and continue polishing her KONGO as long as its
available.
(4) I’ll be ready in a minute:
Listen very carefully: You are going out on a date with a
woman but she had earlier asked you to come to and pick
her up at home. When you get to her and she goes “I’ll be
ready in a minute” Tell her you want to get a recharge card
down the road, turn your car back, go back to your house
and slot in season 1 of 24, Game of Thrones of any
interesting series. And before you are done with episode 6
probably, she would call to ask you if you had gotten the
recharge card, then you can switch of your TV and DVD, and
drive back to her house; you’d be right on time this time.
(5) I’m fine:
If you offend your woman, and before you apologize, she tells
you “Don’t worry, I am fine” Biko, start calling everybody, her
mother, her father, her grand uncle and anybody that you
know she listens to, and tell them you have bleeped up and
you are a repentant sinner who needs forgiveness from your
woman. If you fail to do that, you can start writing your will
or something close to that.
(6) I will never get possessive and I will never nag you:
If any woman tells you this, it’s either she doesn’t love you at
all, or you are a maga, simple! Women get possessive and
women nag. If you believe otherwise, come and collect your
learner permit.
(7) I usually don’t give guys my number, I don’t know why I
am giving you:
Do you want to hear the truth? You are the number 9,999
dude in your hood that is getting that number. So don’t start
jubilating that you have hit the jackpot, don’t dull yourself and
start loving up, play your game very fast and tap out as
quickly as you can. Yeske!
(8) You are the only one I ever wanted:
When a woman especially the one from 30 years and above
tells you “You are the only one for me, you are the one I
wanted, I have been waiting for you all my life” Just nod and
tell her she is FANTASTIC! Don’t argue, after-all you are the
fall-back option, the last resort, the only one who didn’t run.
You are the Awilo Longomba of Nigeria.
(9) It is not you, It is me; you deserve a better woman:
This one of the classic lies women tell when they want to
leave for a fresher, richer and more handsome dude. You will
do yourself a great favour by not drinking hypo or Dettol. She
is done with you, she is leaving. All those talk na bobo.
(10) My father dreamt that something bad will happen if I
marry you:
I will not say much about this, if a woman tells you this and
you believe her and start hurting or running to your pastor to
pray concerning the dream, when her father’s name is not
Joseph; you will have to give me your Pastor’s number, you
need to be delivered from the spirit of mumunism. Yes, there
is a word like that.
Am sure there are still loadz of other lies girls use in
decieving unwary guys today. Drop urz!
